Habit Paralyzation

September 4, 2013

A few weeks back when I was blog reading about “changing my path in life” – well let’s be honest more like reading about depression and self-worth… I started thinking more about the HOW part. HOW did I lose 30lbs doing the Body for Life program 12 years ago? HOW did I go to the gym EVERY day? HOW did I develop RTech into a sustainable business that would PAY ME? I’ve been drowning in the “final product” and ALL THE WORK I know it took to get to those points. With weight loss… I was going to the gym almost two years pushing myself 5-6 times a week – some days going twice and some days taking my kids to a sitter just to go to the gym. With RTech… I was working all crazy hours of the night trying to build my business – WITH toddler TWINS no less. It took me 4 years of working RTech HARD to get to the point of paying myself a decent salary. 4 years of crazy hours. 4 years of working on vacations while my family went to do something without me. And after 4 years of building the business and creating … Read more

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Bleeding Words and Filling Pages

September 3, 2013

I promised myself I would start writing regularly on this blog… regularly as in EVERY DAY write something… anything… Once again I find myself at a loss of what to write so I’m just going to start putting words down and writing. I KNOW once I START writing, I tend to fill pages. I tend to bleed words. Ironic. Why is it so damn hard to start then? Not so Random Thoughts Over the past two days since I wrote my mid-life crisis time for a change post, I’ve been thinking of what I’d do if I could do anything… and the same two nonsensical things keep popping into my head. They float in and out of my thoughts and turn up over and over again. They’ve been with me for years. 1. RUNNING.  I have absolutely NO CLUE where my obsession with running came from. I AM NOT GOOD AT RUNNING. I can’t run far. I can’t run fast. I can’t even run well. I have NEVER been a good runner. Had I been a good runner I would have been a better basketball player in high school and college. I would have run the court better. But I sucked at … Read more

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Time for a Change

September 1, 2013

I think this has been a long time coming for me. I’ve been lost lately. Like really lost. And I don’t like to admit things like this out in public. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs trying to find a “magic solution” to help me get back on track. In my heart of hearts, I KNOW there is no “magic solution” and I’ve always detested people who thought that. I guess I’ve been looking for inspiration… motivation… some way to figure out what the hell I should be doing. I’m 42 years old and feel like my life is starting to slip away from me. If I were to die tomorrow, what would I have really accomplished besides giving birth to my kids? What would I be known for? Who would my life have impacted? What stories did I tell? Who did I help along the way? WHO THE HELL WAS I? It scares me because I don’t have a good answer for any of those questions. For most of my life I’ve been scared of things… a lot of things… all of those fears really equate to one – the FEAR of REALLY living. On the flip side, … Read more

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Not because it’s easy but because it’s hard

May 22, 2012

We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too. ~ JFK Lately I’ve been stalking a little consumed with other people’s running speeds and my lack thereof. I feel the need for speed… but speed just doesn’t feel the need for me. sigh. So the past week or so I’ve been having a small pity party for myself. Invite 1. I’ve also been struggling with a nagging pain that seems to be making a home in the bottom mid section of my right foot. Invite 2. I had an xray yesterday to rule out a stress fracture. I won’t have the results for a few days. I don’t really think it’s a stress fracture – at least not yet. If it was a stress fracture I wouldn’t be able to run at all and would be having more consistent pain in that … Read more

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May 4, 2012

A few months back I learned that Rick’s mom has been seeing a chiropractor and getting a somewhat regular massage. I also learned that her insurance was picking up this cost!! Hmmm… Would our insurance cover that? Yep. It sure does. Found out our insurance covers 40 annual visits and after our modest deductible we’re looking at a 90/10 split! HOLY BIRTHDAY CAKE BATMAN! So I made an appointment to see the same chiropractor Rick’s mom sees last week. I am hoping that with some regular spine checking and leg & ankle stretching and de-knotting I might be able to run better, run farther and even dare I say… run a bit faster? I wasn’t too impressed with my initial consultation. But I’m not sure it was a full evaluation – well I know it wasn’t.  I had a special get out of jail FREE VISIT for an eval and 30 min massage. Even though I wasn’t sure about the doctor, I did make an appointment to come back for a 30 min massage. Why the hell not? It was free! I’m sooo glad I did. I really, no REALLY liked the massage! Now it wasn’t like a spa massage. It … Read more

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