Today I listened to Shamanic drums and the sound of waves and didn’t do a guided meditation. I was able to meditate for about 30 minutes but it didn’t feel like a complete isolated mediation. I will definitely try to envision this one again. I feel like I wasn’t strong enough yet to fully understand or act on what I thought I should be doing.
I started the meditation by following a path and quickly came to a set of stairs that went down to a beach. I’ve been here at this beach before. I know this beach and these stairs. It’s the same beach scene I’ve used to enter some of my other meditations. This time there was a campfire down on the beach. I didn’t see a huge fire though. As I walked down the stairs, I could see and hear people at the fire, chanting and drumming. But when I got down to the fire, I was alone. There was no one with me.
I could hear the drums clearly. Sitting down by the fire, my three guides from my last meditation quickly appeared to me. I saw two snakes wrapped along my arms and felt a crow on each of my shoulders. The bear was standing on the other side of the fire watching me. I heard the music change slightly and watched the bear walk away into the distance. As I stood up to follow him, I noticed an injured deer laying on the other side of the fire.
As I approached the deer, the sky started to dim and enter night. I looked up and saw the moon and felt its energy. The drumming picked up and I knelt down by the deer. I moved my hands on top of the deer to heal it (?) but the deer didn’t move. Whatever I was doing wasn’t working and just felt wrong. So I got up and started to dance around the fire but I couldn’t get into a rhythm. Then I heard the water again. It was much stronger now. I could hear the waves moving to the rhythm of the drums and the moon.
I felt the need to go into the water so I took off my clothes and walked forward. Looking down, I could see and feel water running through my fingers. Looking up, I felt the power of the moon come over me. I knew I needed to cleanse myself so I immersed my entire body and head underwater. I stayed underwater for a little bit and came up looking back up at the moon and hearing the drums strongly.
I walked out of the water and toward the deer again. I began to put my hands out over the top of the deer’s wound and felt tingles in my hands. But the tingles weren’t strong enough to heal the deer. I could feel someone behind me and turned around and saw a shaman – I think I’ve seen him before. He said without speaking, “Dance”. So I got up and started moving in a flowing rhythm around the fire again. As I moved around the fire, I realized the crows were back on my shoulders and the snakes wrapped around my arms again. But now I was wearing a big bear fur with a headpiece over my head. As I danced, I got warmer. The fire heated my skin. I went back over to the deer and put my hands on top of him once again. This time, I felt the energy coming through my body but it was faint. I could feel it move through me but not at a high level. It was low and wasn’t high enough to heal the deer. I stayed over the deer for awhile but nothing changed. The energy never got stronger.
The music changed again and I heard the shaman say “It’s time.” So I stood up and started walking back to the stairs. As I walked up the stairs, I noticed that I was fully dressed again and looked back to see the spirit animals were on the beach behind me. The bear was standing once again with the crows and snakes.
I will definitely try this meditation again. Not sure why I saw a deer or why the bear walked away. But I had this feeling of not liking water.
In my waking life, I love hearing the sounds of water and sitting by water. I love the rain and storms for sure. But I’m not a big fan of being immersed in water. The more I think about this, I see a pattern. I will go into water like a swimming pool or a lake, but I won’t stay in it long. I get cold quickly even if the weather is very hot. I can’t just stay in it like my family can. I am not a big fan of baths but will take them occasionally with Epsom salt but don’t do that regularly. I will sit in a hot tub for a little while but then have to get out within a few minutes. I don’t even shower every day. When I’m sick, the thought of taking a shower repulses me. I know some people feel refreshed with a shower when sick or use them to bring down a fever. But not me. I will end up taking a shower once I’m feeling better – like towards the end of my illness – to cleanse. But in general, I’m usually not a big fan of getting into water. I used to think this was because I didn’t want to do my hair afterward. Showers can be a production with longer hair. But the more I am thinking about this now, my thing with water extends to all water not just showers. I don’t mind my hands being immersed – like doing the dishes. It’s just my full body.